So we have flex days at work.  Basically, we work an eight hour day and then eight nine hour days and get a day off.  i get every other Monday off, but my counterpart gets every other Friday off.  i love having my Monday off, but i must get through her Friday first... which is very difficult.  See, her work MUST be done each day and when she's not there, that leaves me to do it... my work, for the post part, lays untouched because it's not as pressing.  There are pressing things that have to be done each day but they are about thirty minutes worth of work compared to her two hours... i love having every other Monday off because it helps me to recover from the hell i have to go through on Friday before it... 

back to your regularly scheduled program...

coze

Just watched a really awesome movie with Amo.  It's called Black Snake Moan... WOW!!  That's all i can say... WOW!!

So, today i found a perfect reason for why email sucks.  On Monday my mom's friend, who i lovingly refer to as my uncle, passed away.  So instead of making phone calls to let people know of this seriously premature tragedy, his boyfriend and roommate decided to send a mass email out to everyone to let them know of my 'uncles' passing... OMG!!  My initial reaction was to go over to the house and just punch him in the face.  My second reaction was to remember that things are tough and getting ahold of some of us might have been difficult - but email?!?!

coze

i really miss my friend's boyfriend from college.  He was always willing and able to interrept my dreams for me and cause them to have some sort of meaning.  Lately, i've been plauged with dreams of running away from situations, being found by someone and then being forced to be their 'pet'.  Some of them are not so nice 'pet' situations while others are not bad at all.  It's night like a one night thing though but each and every night and a different situation each night, but all with the same outcome.  i end up with a nice Dom who enjoys me as their 'pet' and understands me.  

Last night for example, i ran away from something only to be found on the side of the road by a guy who picked me up in His van (one of the old Econoline ones).  He forced me back to His place, which was a circus type Ren Faire.  In His tent there was a young gal who told me how great it was to be His pet and how i should act and such.  Then He forced me to do horrible public things.  My mom was even there to witness the display and and acted like it didn't bother her.  At one point in time i was crawling along the floor on my hands and knees with a bit in my mouth and my mom reached out and brushed back my hair.  i couldn't make out what she said, but they were soothing words - which is unlike my mother in a situation like that.  Eventually, after a few more scenes, i ran away from the circus and ended up on a Greyhound bus.  i curled up in the back seat and noticed at some point this guy sat next to me.  He reached over, poked me with something and i fell asleep.  i woke up in His bed to Him telling me that things were going to be all right now and He was going to take care of me and i was going to be a good pet for Him.

Ironically, in my own day-time relationship, i do not see myself nor ever refer to myself as a pet.  i did come into my current relationship out of a bad relationship that while not publically degredating, it couldn't been alot worse had i not got out when i did.  It was not a D/s relationship rather my ex did something to children that was totally horrible and is now serving a long prision sentence for his crimes.  My Amo did meet me during the end of that situation and in a sense has taken care of me since then so i could see the similarities in this dream to that situation, however, i do not understand why each time i am referred to as a pet or what i am running from in the first place.  Also, in a way i feel horrible because sometimes the voice of the last person breathes over into my day telling me what to do and how things should be.  Kind of like a running over from the dream to my daytime life.

Does any of this make sense or am i just rambling along in chaos?  i have no clue... just had to get it off my chest.

coze

So last night, right before we headed out for the youngest son's birthday dinner my mother-in-law calls in a panic.  My in-laws are long-haul truckers and apparently last night they were going down I-80 in Indiana and a light pole slammed into their truck, taking off the top half the truck.  Their first initial thought was to get the heck out of the truck, but the officers that were quickly on the scene advised against this because they were not sure if the wires that were wrapped around their truck were live or not.  My in-laws sat in their truck for over an hour in the freezing cold waiting for electricity crews to get there and give the okay for parademics to pull them out.  The call was to let us know what they wanted done should anything happen to both of them in the accident.  We were all (the adults since we didn't tell the kids) were worried during dinner.  We couldn't do anything but worry...  After dinner i tried for a while to get ahold of them and was getting ready to call their company when they finally phoned us back.  They were okay and staying in a hotel for the night.  Their truck is totaled though and they are not sure if they are going to get a loaner truck or get flown back here to WA to pick up a new truck (since this is their home base).  I just thank God today that they are okay.  The situation could have turned out way worse than just a banged up truck and a lost load of stuff.

Toodles!
coze

Okay... this is a bee-yatch post so if you don't care, then don't read...

i am so tired of getting up every morning - it doesn't matter if i have a migraine, upset stomach or gosh forbid water butt - i get up, drag my butt to the shower, get dressed and go to work.  i come home and deal with whatever chaos is at home including making sure the children have done their homework, the house is picked up and sometimes (not always) dinner is made.  Why would this annoy me?  Because there are other people in the house that stay home because they had a bad BM in the morning or their tummy is upset or they just don't go get a job and therefore are sitting on their asses in the house doing nothing all day.  i still have to hunt for work clothes in the morning because someone's idea of doing laundry is to leave it in the dryer, the remains of dinner last night are sitting - now caked to the pan and dishes - on the counter.  The children's stuff isn't picked up, their shoes have been sitting in the bathroom for two days (no school yesterday) - Amo didn't go to work which means i don't get lunch packed for me - why is that a big deal - because i'm not allowed to eat unless Amo gives it to me or gives me permission to eat it... In the grand scheme of things why does this annoy me... because my checking account is already overdrawn because of a bill that i had to pay - my check goes in on the first and when it goes in i have still have nothing left because i have to pay the rent and other bills... and what do other people in the house do to help out??  Nothing... the children do nothing - despite being told to... i get home from 9 long hours of work yesterday only to be told that i have to drive Amo to pick up His truck from the shop despite the fact that He's been home since 4 and there are two other adults in the house and another car that this situation could've already been taken care of... Oh, but dinner was made when i got home initially which meant by the time i got home from taking Amo to get the truck it was cold... i just feel there is no winning for losing in this situation.  i'm expected to be the good one, the happy one and continue on my trek in a polite and proper manner and all i want to do is curl up, scream and tell them all to move their asses and do something...  i work... that is my chore... i shouldn't have to do everything else as well when there are other people sitting around the house doing nothing but playing video games all freakin' day... Oh... and tonight... i get to bake 35 cupcakes for my youngest step-son to take to school tomorrow for his birthday... Yippie!!!  *sigh*  Off to the grind... and no... i don't feel good... my stomach is upset and i wish i could just curl back up and go to bed... but i continue on... yeah yeah yeah, i know... it's what we do...

So yesterday was our friends son's birthday party and i think i held myself very well.  i didn't sit on the furnature (which the house host didn't either) and basically kept to the conversations of the ladies instead of attempting to insert myself in the Guy's conversations.  It was actually quite interesting to find that all of the couples that were there were in some degree D/s couples.  i do not think i have ever been in a room with that many couples in the same place in the lifestyle.  i made a comment at one point in time (a snide joke) to one of the Dom's (the house host) and He looked at Amo before He walked over, grabbed my hair back and asked me to 'try that again'.  i'm a brat and i know it, but He's more strict than Amo.  It was definately interesting to have someone other than Amo repremanding me though.  Afterwards, Amo rubbed my shoulder in His own reassurance to the reprimand.  i knew when i said my comment, that i shouldn't have said it, but i also thought that it would be blown off as my bratty nature had been in the past.  Perhaps the conversations that Amo and Him are having are about more than just computers.

Last night Amo and i went out to standup comedy at the local bar.  It was quite funny and W/we had fun.  Too short in my opinion since Amo and i don't get much time alone.  All well, the house and children must be taken care of first before myself - i do realize that.

Off for now... back to work tomorrow and more chaos will ensue there as par for the course.

coze